Day 5.

Its been 5 days since Wesley has left. Five very hectic days. On a good note, I started watching Quinn this week, I first met her and her mom about a month ago from a sitter website. She is just precious! Seeing a baby so small makes me wonder where in the world did time go? Madeline is soon to be 9 months old, she eats "real people food" now. She is trying to walk, and doing pretty good so far, Today i was able to get her to stand on her own without my help or any support for a few seconds. She can stand all day if she has something to hold onto. She will be walking by the time Wes gets home, I really wish she would stop growing in the time that he is gone, he misses too much! I will be so sad if he misses her walking! Louie has been a pretty bad these last few days, The carpet shampooer has not made it back into its closet yet! My husband has been able to get his own email set up, so I get to email him on his own account. He has been working super hard out there as there are only 2 people on his shift, including him! He tries to email me between breaks but its hard. There has been no luck with a phone yet. This is the longest Ive ever gone without hearing his voice. I had a dream two days ago, I was dozing off laying on our couch, I heard him speak to me, I don't know what he said but it was him. I quickly woke up to being alone. I do have to say that was almost as bad as him actually leaving. Today has gotten better for me. Ive only cried twice, maybe i will get to the point where i don't shed a tear. Knowing myself that wont be me, ill probably be in tears up until the moment were reunited. Well its midnight and I have to be up by 8, so goodnight all.

Until next time,
Justine.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

My first post...

Well i should start by introducing myself. I'm Justine I'm 20 years old.  Married to the man of my dreams,Wesley. We have a wonderful 8 month old little girl,Madeline. We have a Boston terrier named Louie. We currently reside in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I'm prior Navy, I got out with a honorable discharge to be a stay at home mom, I also run a small daycare from my home.  To the outside world it may seem as though I'm living the American dream. Well I'm not, far from actually. Well you see my husband is in the Navy and is starting his deployment cycle he will be gone all of August and half of September, then again almost all of October, and then he leaves for 7 months starting December 14th. He has already gone 3 times before, But he was on land able to call me, text, send emails, and get on the web cam at leisure. On Monday, August 2nd all of that changed, He left for the next 5 weeks. He is now out to sea, unable to make phone calls all the time, I have gotten 1 email from his since he has been gone. Ive must have read it 100 times already, breaking into tears every time.  Being a military wife is nothing close to the typical American dream, You have the man of your dreams in your arms, your supposed to spend the rest of your lives together except you can't. We constantly get torn apart, one day he is in my arms the next day he is gone. Most people just don't understand it takes a special breed of woman to be a military wife, It take a strong woman who holds back her tears when he isn't home. Unfortunately I'm still molding myself into that person who is strong, who can live everyday as if nothing is wrong. I, as a person, I'm not brave.  I fell in love with a military man.  If I could change that fact i would, But i fell in love with a wonderful person who is teaching me to be strong through his own strength. I know i choose to be a military wife, simply because i fell in love with a man in the Navy. I also didnt choose for the man that I love to live the life he does, but its my job to stand behind him and support my husband, In the end it will be best for our family . Yes I knew what i was getting into when I fell in love with him, That doesnt change the fact that I'm angry for him being taken away from me, more importantly him being taken away from Madeline. Its something that i have to work on, to accept that he is going to leave, time and time again, No amount of tears will stop him from having to leave.  Being in the military I never had to be separated from the ones I cherish for long period of time with no contact ( If I do not count my 2 months spent in boot camp) I never had to pull the courage from deep down inside of me and go on with my life as though everything is normal.  You see, Yes i stood in his shoes, But I'm now stand in every person's shoes that is stands waiting on the pier for their loved ones safe return. To be quiet honest I don't know how they do it, I don't know how I'm doing it. I suppose that is why I'm not writing this blog, Its to get my feelings out, to be able to vent and feel better about the situation that is in front of me.  

Until Next time,
Justine.

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be. ~Author Unknown